Stealing from the Fatass
by Cantarelli
Summary: After two weeks of being locked in Cartman's basement, Butters didn't expect to ever see food again, until he woke up to a bag of Cheesy Poofs staring him in the face.


**Notes:** _ Yeah, I'm freaking clever with titles (notreally).  
>Beta'd by <strong>Silver-Eyed Leanan Sidhe<strong>~

Butters Stotch, well Butters Stotch still dressed as Professor Chaos, was hungry. He was almost as hungry as the time when his parents had locked him in the cellar and tried to feed him the nice sales-woman from Quality Curtains. Actually, no, he was definitely hungrier than that. He had been stuck in Eric-slash-The Coon's basement for almost two weeks with no food – though according to the Eric, he could eat his poop but it definitely didn't smell appetizing – and he was sure he had begun to hallucinate from starvation. In fact, he could have sworn he had seen Kenny-slash-Mysterion kill himself four times already, but he just kept telling himself that the lack of food was getting to him. Besides, Kenny came back to the basement every day, along with the other Coon Friends, perfectly fine and without a scratch, or gunshot in most cases, on his body.

Feeling defeated – but mostly hungry – Butters gave up on asking the boys to let him out of the cage and resigned to idly poking the ball of light just outside his cage and occasionally singing to himself to pass the time. He sure was surprised that his parent's hadn't come looking for him, though. Butters shuddered at the thought of how long he'd be grounded when he finally got home – _if_ he ever got home.

It was late, though, and not wanting to fall asleep to bad thoughts that would result in equally bad dreams, Butters hummed a soothing tune to himself and laid down on the hard metal surface – Eric hadn't even bothered to pad the cage – and as far away from the bucket of feces as possible, not that the cage had a lot of room either.

He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep when there was a tapping at the metal bars, but when he opened his eyes he could have sworn he was still dreaming. Staring back at him, on his side of the bars, was an unopened family-sized bag of Cheesy Poofs and a can of Zoop. Butters blinked once, twice, and ripped opened the crinkly bag, shoving cheesy delight after cheesy delight into his mouth. It wasn't until he heard a low chuckle that he realized he was being watched from the other side of the cage.

"K-Kenny?"

"I thought you might be hungry. Don't eat it too fast, though. I don't know when I can steal another bag from Cartman without him noticing." Kenny sat in front of the cage, clad in his Mysterion costume and taking a sip of his own can of Zoop.

Part of Butters wanted to tell Kenny that stealing was bad, but Eric _did_ have him locked in his basement for longer than necessary without nourishment. Instead he said, "Aw shucks, Ken. You didn't have to steal food for m–" His stomach cut him off with a loud growl, most likely unhappy with the sudden intake of Cheesy Poofs to have stopped, "B-but I do appreciate it."

Kenny let out another laugh, the low pitch of his voice unwavering while he was staying 'in-character'. "He won't miss them." There was a short pause, "Well, no, he will, but he could do without an extra bag of Cheesy Poofs." He noticed Butters lack of actually eating the bag of junk food and cocked an eyebrow, "Well don't stop on my account. You're hungry aren't you?"

As if to answer Kenny, Butters' stomach let out another growl, somehow sounding more impatient than before, causing the caged boy to flush just before reaching in and grabbing out a handful and eating the puffs of processed cheese as slowly as possible – which resulted it in the whole handful being eaten in one go. He was _really_ hungry. He felt a little embarrassed to be the only one eating – it hardly seemed polite to eat in front of someone else – so Butters scooted closer to the front of the cage and handed Kenny some Cheesy Poofs through the bars, "For goin' through the trouble even though I'm your enemy."

"Enemy or not's got nothing to do with it. I just can't stand to see someone literally starve to death." Kenny replied simply. He had been watching Butters' skin paling for days, and even his normal chipper behavior began to dim with the more time passed. And even after confronting Cartman numerous times to either let the poor kid go or at least feed him, no progress was made. He still wondered why they even _let_ Cartman back into The Coon & Friends – probably thinking that it would _somehow_ keep Cartman more under control and less likely to join sides with Cthulhu or whatever dark lord would emerge next – but it was definitely not for his sunny disposition and love for everyone around him.

It was Butters warm smile when he reached and took the offered Cheesy Poofs, as well as the adorable way he tried to not to eat the contents of the bag in five seconds flat, that made sneaking into Cartman's not-so-secret stash of junk food with the chance of getting caught worth it.

They both sat in relative silence with the sound of the bag crinkling occasionally, or Kenny chuckling when Butters tried to catch a stray Cheesy Poof that slipped out of his hands before it touched the ground. When Butters' appetite was finally sated, the bag of Cheesy Poofs was still half full.

"Give it to me," Kenny held out a gloved hand, "I'll hide it at my house so Cartman doesn't catch you with it."

Butters nodded and rolled up the bag to fit through the bars, as well as the can of Zoop he finished earlier. "T-thanks again."

"Don't mention it. I'll be back tomorrow night." And with that, Kenny quietly ran up the basement stairs and out of sight.


End file.
